I wanted to write this first blog about how I got to where I am now.  However, when I went over three pages in a Word document, I thought that was probably too much for one entry.  After all, I wouldn't read a blog that long, so I can't expect anyone else to slog through it!

There is no way for me to write anything about my life without discussing my chronic illness.  It effects every minute of every day for me and my family.  So I thought I'd start by writing about life just before my symptoms started and how I got to where I am now.

Part One

In June of 2000, I was healthy, young 23 year old preparing to marry the man of my dreams.  I never thought I would get married, let alone to Derek.  He was the man wanted.  He made me laugh and understood me in a way no one ever had.  He was my very best friend.  But, our relationship had been so "will we? won't we?" that I had given up altogether.  Needless to say, we both came around.

So, eleven years ago I was making final wedding preparations and looking forward to our happy life together.  I just knew everything would be perfect!  We would never fight.  We had both just graduated from college, and were planning on returning for our Master's Degrees.  Money would be tight in grad school, but after that we'd have plenty of money.  After all, we were both well educated and eager to work.  We would find good jobs, save our money, get involved in a church, and in about 5 years we would start having children.  It was a very good, very responsible plan.  With all hope for the future, and an overly generous helping of naivety, we started our life together.  What we would soon find out is that our plan, though good and responsible, was not God's plan.

Six months into our marriage, we were taking grad classes, teaching, involved in church, and maintaining a social life when I started to not feel well.  A pinched nerve in my back flared up causing quite a bit of pain. I remember spending Christmas break at my m-i-l's house in PA and feeling like I had the flu.  In January I went to the university clinic and the doctor diagnosed "malaise and fatigue" and really didn't know what was wrong.  This was also when I started having heart symptoms.  After a battery of tests, and weeks of wearing a heart monitor we found that my heart was healthy.  I started missing classes and work because I was so tired I couldn't get out of the apartment.  As the weeks progressed, I was chewed out by my boss, and told politely by my teachers that I just wasn't trying.  I remember lying in bed at night, almost asleep, when the air conditioner would kick on and I would jump so hard it woke up Derek.  My heart would pound so hard and so fast I thought I was actually dying.  The doctors were clueless so they diagnosed it as stress.  This was always the diagnoses I got at that clinic.  If you weren't having a baby at this clinic, you were suffering from stress.

Still, our plans for the future were unchanged.  I was young, and had been reasonably healthy up to this point.  We were sure that we would find the right doctor, get a proper diagnoses and treatment would take care of the problem. It was just a speed bump or so we thought.