It's great to remember, but it's also good to have a BBQ.

I have noticed a trend in the few years, regarding Memorial Day.  Maybe it's not new, it just that with FB, now I know what everyone is thinking.  One of the first things I do when I get up is check FB and email and let my brain warm up.  It's not a good idea to try and have a conversation with me during this time because I'm not yet fully functioning.  I can't think about more than one thing at a time first thing.  My thoughts also wander, as you can see.

Anyway, back on point.  So this morning I was reading FB and I noticed, primarily, two types of posts - 1) We're having a BBQ or other fun event, and - 2) How dare you have fun on this day!  Don't you care about remembering our soldiers?!  I exaggerate, just a little bit.  That's the gist of it anyway.

There's got a to be a balance.  So here's my opinion on that, in case anyone ever cares what I think!

Today I will be remembering the loved ones I have lost, but especially my Grandfather because he served in WWII.  My Grandfather wouldn't talk about his experiences in the war to me.  I was only 13 when he died.  So what I know has been told to me by others, and often,  stories change from one telling to the next.  Here's what I know.

Robert E. Charlton Sr.

Robert E. Charlton Sr

When Pearl Harbor was attacked, my grandfather was in high school.  He tried to enlist immediately, but was sent home to finish high school.  After graduation enlisted.  He was sent to basic training in Texas, then to the South Pacific.  When the war was over, he came home, dated and married my grandmother.

I will think about and miss Grandpa today.  That's not specific to Memorial Day.  Although it has been more than 20 years since he died of lung cancer, I miss him every single day.  I wish so much that he could see my children.  Thinking about him still makes me cry.  If he were here to spend Memorial Day with us, it wouldn't be a morose, overly serious, dark day of remembering.  It would be a day filled with laughter, food, family stories, and the simple fun on being together.

Remembering is good.  Appreciating those who are currently serving excellent.  But from some of the things I read on FB, I get the impression that today is so serious that we are not allowed to smile.  We are not allowed to laugh.  If we do anything fun we are disrespecting those who serve.  I suspect that I would be hard pressed to soldier that would tell you that you are not allowed to do anything "fun" on Memorial Day.  They would more likely tell us to enjoy our loved one when we can.

There's got to be a balance.  So today, I'm remembering my loved ones, especially Grandpa.  I'm also going to spend the day making memories with those I love.  Someday we may not be able to all be together for Memorial Day, so today I'm going to make the most of the time we have together.  

The cat and the baby. At least they understand each other.

So, it's been what most mom's probably consider a "normal" day, but, as you know, it's the little things that bring me so much joy.

Laura left early today to go to an event. (Congratulations, Peter Sterling on graduating!!!).  So, it was just the kids and me this afternoon.  Aria Grace had been having a very rough day.  Starting last night when she woke up absolutely screaming.  Because she has such a set of lungs, this scream wakes me out of a dead sleep, and I'm pretty sure all the neighbors are concerned as well.  When Aria cries, Noah panics and starts screaming and crying too.  She's okay now, and I'm pretty sure we got the problem fixed.  It's funny how babies can communicate without speaking.  We knew very clearly that something was hurting Aria, but she couldn't tell us exactly what.  This afternoon, I took her in to change a diaper, and she very clearly communicated to me that she didn't want to wear a sleeper.  She wants her feet to be free.  No, no socks either.  She doesn't understand our compulsive need to cover up her feet.  That just makes it so hard to get her toes in her mouth!  Yes, she communicated all of that.

So, I laid her in her crib, turned to leave, and asked the cat if she wanted to come or if she was staying with the baby.  I don't know why I ask.  She ALWAYS wants to stay in the room with the baby.  Before you believers of old wives tales freak out, I have very carefully watched the cat with the baby (and the baby with the cat), and I trust Isis.  She loves Aria.  I'm more concerned about Aria accidentally hurting the cat.  So I let Isis stay.  If she's in the crib (which she rarely does anymore because Aria likes to grab her fur), I leave the door cracked open and check every few minutes.  Often they are both asleep, Isis' head resting on Aria's little feet, or very nearby.  I posted a photo of that in a previous blog entry.

Anyway, today the cat was sitting on a footstool in the middle of the room, very clearly communicating that she would be staying with Aria.  Fine.  I went about my business washing my hands, trying to remember what I had been doing etc . . .  Just as the back of my pants grazed the seat of my chair, I heard the cat meowing.  She wanted out already?!  I did some sort of yoga move which involved sitting down and standing up at the same time and hurried back in there to let her out.  I opened the door to see the cat sitting across the room on the changing table.  She looked surprised to see me.  She hadn't been asking to come out of the room, she was in the middle of some sort of speech or stand-up routine for her favorite little audience.  It was like the only thing missing was a miniature microphone stand.  I'm sure that if I had a translator she would have been saying "So, what is the deal with parents and socks?!"

Aria was, of course, watching her and smiling.  She understood.

Aria and her dog, Harley Quinn.  Everyone loves to be with the baby!

When Nerds Marry

When two nerds get married.

Recently, I noticed that Netflix has added several 80's cartoon series to their streaming menu.  My reaction to this was a little something like "WOOOO-HOOOO!"  Transformers, GI Joe, and even JEM, to name a few.  Wow.  Netflix knows how to make children of the 80's happy.  So tonight we started re-watching GI Joe.  I say "rewatching" because besides watching them as kids, someone who knows us quite well gave Derek DVDs of the series for Christmas one year.

This is how you know you are married to a nerd - You can't watch for 5 minutes straight without hearing "We have that ___________ in the garage."  The blank is filled with the name of a specific tank, aircraft, other equipment, or action figure.  Sometimes I hear, "We don't have that one.  The neighbors had it though."  Or, "We used to have that but it was broken."  He's even nerdy enough to say, "They didn't make a toy of that character/equipment."

Why in the garage, you ask?  A few years ago when we all gathered at the PA home, my MIL told the boys that they had to go through all the toys, take what they wanted, and get rid of the rest.  Yes, she still had them.  She is a sweet, sweet Mom.  So my husband's brothers each took a figure or two that had special meaning to them.  My sentimental husband took everything that wasn't broken.  So we have something like nine boxes of vintage (and VERY played with) GI Joe, He-Man, Star Wars, Transformers, Legos, and other toys.  In a few years, on some Saturday morning, we will watch the cartoons and pull out the toys so Daddy and Noah can play together.  Nerdy, but fun.  That phrase basically sums up one of the biggest reasons I married my husband, and love him more everyday.

Yes, I said when TWO nerds get married.  I can't mock my husband too much for still enjoying GI Joe and having the toys.  I can still sing all the words to the theme song.  ;0}  I know which character is my favorite and why.  I can still remember playing GI Joe at recess, and which character I always wanted to be, even though the other girl character had a better weapon.

Who would have thought that when a chunky, blonde haired girl was sitting in Idaho watching a cartoon, a skinny, awkward kid in Pennsylvania was watching the same thing, and twenty-five years later they would be sitting down together to watch GI Joe again?  :)  I love that.  

Ugh!  Sappy.  I digress.  

~Yo, Joe!

Oh How I Wanted to Complain!

Psalm 100

(A psalm.  For giving thanks.)

¹Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands.

²Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing.

³Know ye that the LORD he is God:

      it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves;

      we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

⁴Enter into his gates with thanksgiving,

      and into his courts with praise:

      be thankful unto him, and bless his name.

⁵For the LORD is good;

      his mercy is everlasting;

      and his truth endureth to all generations.

My fibromyalgia almost got the best of me today*.  Not physically - it gets the best of me physically everyday.  Today it almost got me, mentally.  Sometimes it seems like little things building up.  Lately, my sleep schedule has been unusually bad, which means I end up sleeping during the day.  So spend nights sitting alone, and days mostly sleeping when I want to be with my family.  The other day, I got up mid-morning, I think.  Derek had gotten up very early with Aria.  So pretty soon, he wanted to take a nap.  Noah, after not taking naps for MONTHS, has recently starting taking naps again.  Which is wonderful, but on this day, I got up, and an hour or so later everyone else in the house took a nap.  The next day I had a terrible nightmare (the worst of many lately, and is it a nightmare during the day?), and I desperately wanted to hug Noah when I woke up.   He was taking a nap.  Several days, I got up and the kids were sleeping.  Pretty soon I realized that I'm just not seeing enough of them.  Derek is quite busy with work, which is great, but I'm not seeing much of him either.

Today was Derek's day off.  When I finally got up (after noon), he reminded me that we had an appointment that afternoon.  I felt TERRIBLE, there was no way I could go, but the kids needed to be there.  So I helped the kids get dressed, and before I could even have a cup of coffee I watched my whole family leave without me.  Oh how I wanted to complain!  There's no way to fix it.  There are things that have to be done.  Other people still have to live life.  But I wanted to complain to someone.  I struggled, and I almost gave in.  My first instinct is to post something on Facebook.  Fortunately, I have a personal rule about not using Facebook to complain.  This was enough to make me pause and regroup.  Teeth gritted in determination, I started making a list of things for which I am thankful.  You may have seen it on my Facebook status.  I soon realized there were more things that I could ever mention in a Facebook status.  So, I just listed the most immediate.

There is always more sunshine than rain in my life.  Yet, sometimes it's so tempting to focus on the gloom.  God has blessed me with so much!  There are many, many people who have more to complain about than I do.  

So, here I sit.  Once again everyone is asleep, and I'm awake.  I know, though, that in a little while I will go in the check on my kids (as I do every night), and I will be so overwhelmed with love and thankfulness.  Their sleeping faces are so peaceful and perfect.  Then I will crawl into bed, and sleep or not, little critters will cuddle up with me.  A cat will lick my hands and purr so loudly that Derek may wake up.  How dare I ever want to complain?!  I have been given so much!

Isis loves her baby, Aria Grace

I know I harp on thankfulness.  It's the lesson I learn over and over.  It's important.  It's how I cope with the struggle of chronic pain and fatigue.  Fibromyalgia is a complicated disability.  It's more than a physical struggle.  I don't know how I would get through it without the love and support of my family.  As wonderful as they are, they can't fight the mental struggle for me.  Only God can help me there, and He does. He blesses me greatly, and doesn't let me forget it.  He is the source of joy.  He is the source of all good things.  God is good, all the time.

*When I say "today,"  I mean Thursday.  I haven't gone to bed yet, so to me it's still Thursday, even though the clock says it's very, very early on Friday.

A Little Honey-Get-Away

We have been married almost 12 years.  Most people would say that the honeymoon is over.  My dear husband surprised me a few weeks with ago with a plan to go out of town for a couple of nights - just the two of us!  Yes, it was hard to leave the kids, and I felt like a horrible mother for leaving Aria at only 4 months old.  I don't know any moms who would do such a thing.  However, Grandma and Grandpa came to stay with the kids, and I knew in my head the kids would be fine.  In fact, I knew that Noah would have a fabulous time.

So, we decided to go to McCall, ID.  For those of you who aren't from around here, McCall is a beautiful town 2-3 hours from where we live.  It's in the mountains on a gorgeous lake.  Our timeshare has a resort there, and we were able to book a very nice unit.  Being in the mountains the whole area is still covered in snow, but the road were dry and good for driving.  It snowed a little the first night we were there and this was the view outside our windows.  

We cuddled up in front of the fire and watched movie the first night.  The next day we shopped at some of the little touristy shops and (my favorite) a couple of thrift stores.  We spent almost the entire day shopping for gifts for the children.  Ha ha!  It was worth it though because we found this for only $3.  It's a queen size comforter bag filled with Mega Bloks.

A STEAL! We found a few other souvenirs as well, but one of the antique shops we wanted to see was closed, so we have to go back the next day before heading home.  I'm so glad we did!  We found these "vintage" toys (ouch!  I played with these toys as a kid).  They weren't priced, and needing to get a toy for Aria (since we got the Mega Bloks for Noah), I made Derek ask.  $12.  I suspected that these were Tupperware, but they weren't marked as such.  I looked it up when we got home and found that not only are they Tupperware, but they are worth *at least* twice what we paid!  

Good deal on some really great toys for my kids!  I love that!

Because we were in a timeshare, we had a full kitchen and grill.  We took our own food and this is what we had the first night.  This was one of the best meals we have ever cooked!  It made me feel truly sorry for vegetarians. We had a fantastic late lunch at The Pancake House the next day, and a late dinner of grilled salmon and broccoli for a very late dinner.  I don't know why we eat so well on vacation, but we always seem to really spoil ourselves!  (Without spending a lot because we cook most of the meals in our unit).

On the way out of McCall we stopped by an art and home furnishings gallery.  It was so nice.  We dreamed about future homes and how we would design/decorate.  Sweet, sweet quality time.

Even though it was only a couple of days, we missed the kids.  So it was great to be home and kiss on their faces.  I'm not sure what all they did while we were gone, but Noah was asking for cookies and candy within 10 minutes of our arrival.  By "asking" I mean, asking and POINTING.  I have my suspicions . . .. :)  He went to bed early because he was so exhausted, so I know he had fun with Grandma and Grandpa.  It turned out that his exhaustion was also due to oncoming sickness.  He was running a fever the next day.  Good thing we came home when we did as I would hate for Grandma and Grandpa to be stuck with a sick, very FUSSY little boy.  Although, he gets very cuddly when he's sick, so mostly I'm glad that I didn't miss that.  If he has to be sick his mommy should be there for him.

It was a wonderful get away.  Good food, good shopping, relaxing and being together.  My husband is such a blessing from God!

Also, when we got home we found some Mega Bloks toys on Craiglist for very cheap.  So we got Noah a large dump truck filled with Mega Bloks.  Combined with the McCall find, here's what Noah's Easter gift looks like.  They are in the bathtub here because that's where we had to clean them.

It's always a blessing for me to be able to give things to my kids, especially these things that I know they will enjoy!  I get such a thrill out of finding a good deal.

God's Gifts

Aria is now FOUR months old!  I can hardly believe it.  She is a happy, healthy baby.  The first three months we dealt with a lot of fussiness and gas issues, but she's seems to have outgrown that now.  Thank you all for your prayers.  I believe with all my heart that those prayers were heard and answered.

During the time that Aria was in the NICU, Derek changed real estate brokerages.  It's a lot like a job change.  He's doing the same job (real estate agent) but for a difference brokerage (Keller-Williams).  The way he works now is so different that it's like a different job.  His business has grown A LOT.  It's a funny thing with me being so very sick and now having two kids.  We needed to hire someone to help, but we couldn't afford it.  As long as Derek was having to take care of the kids and work, he couldn't work enough to increase our income enough to afford to hire someone to help.  Vicious circle.  By God's grace, Derek's business increased so much with the change that we were able to hire a nanny at the beginning of the year.  We have been praying for so long that God would make it possible for us to hire someone to help.  I still don't fully understand it all, but God did it.  It's only by His grace.  Not only did we hire someone, but God gave us someone that we already knew and trusted.  I'm so relieved.  My children are VERY well looked after.  Laura, our nanny, has a gift for working with small children and an incredible heart for helping others.  We are very grateful for her.

Now that we're up to speed let me tell you about my day today.  I was awake and feeling very bad until around 4am.  When I woke up early this afternoon I was convinced I wouldn't be able to get out of bed.  For several weeks (actually much longer) I have had the same difficulty when first waking up.  Each time I wonder if I will have to spend the day in bed.  Often I lay there for an hour "talking" myself into getting out of bed.  You know what helps me?  I want to see my children.  Noah is so excited to see me when I drag myself across the house to his room that I look forward to that moment everyday.  Today an hour passed and I still couldn't get up.  I thought of coffee, my children, and food (yuck), but the pain was too much.  I didn't want to move.  Fortunately, Derek was still home and just getting ready to leave, so he was in and out of our of the bedroom.  Even though Noah had just gone down for a nap, I asked Derek to bring him in to see me.  I had resigned to the pain and fatigue, so if I was going to see Noah he was going to have to come to me.  Or, if I was going to somehow muster the determination to get up, my little ray of sunshine and joy would have to help me.  He wasn't sleeping, so Derek brought him to me.  "Mommy! Mommy!"  He was soooooo happy to see me.  Hugs and kisses, and then, "gup!  gup!"  He started gesturing for me to get out of bed. "Mommy, gup!"  I still didn't think I could move out of bed.  I started to explain.  "Mommy, gup!  Mommy, down!"  (Because "gup" hadn't worked, he thought I'd understand "down").  He ran back and forth around the bed a couple of times. "Mommy, gup!"  By now he was trying to pull the covers off of me.  "Mommy, sit dere."  This means he wants to sit with me in my chair.  Then he grabbed my hand and started pulling.  "Mommy, shair."  He wants to lead me to my chair.  Finally, I mustered the strength.  How could I resist that sweet little face?  All he wanted was for his Mommy to "gup"  and "sit dere" in her "shair" with him.  I got up, changed my clothes, and started to get ready.  My little ray of sunshine was with me.  I washed my face, he asked me to wash his face.  He told me to comb my hair next and so on.  Once we were basically groomed, or so I thought, he asked for lotion.  Apparently, the last thing you are suppose to do when getting ready is apply lotion.   I suspect he remembers this from Grandmother's last visit. :)  We put lotion on our hands and "sat dere."

If I had felt that bad three years ago, I would have stayed in bed.  Praise God for giving me what I needed to keep going today!  I actually got a few things accomplished.  I played with Aria and made her laugh.  I cuddled Noah when he woke up crying from his nap.  Loved, cuddled, and made Aria laugh some more.  I made dinner and did a few other very small miscellaneous tasks.  At the end of the day it doesn't seem like much, but it's a whole lot more than if I had stayed in bed.  God is good to me.  He has blessed me richly.